1. I first heard the story and history of zeffat al’arusah as told by one of my mentors, the brilliant author, dancer, researcher and dance ethnologist Sahra Kent (Sahra Saeeda), in her Journey Through Egypt certification course. (p. 9)

2. Joy, Linda, et al. Courageous Hearts: Soul-Nourishing Stories to Inspire You to Embrace Your Fears and Follow Your Dreams. Inspired Living Publishing, 2017. Purchase your copy here. (p. 13)

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Check out Simon Sinek’s TEDx talk, Start with why—how great leaders inspire action. (p. 17)

Here’s One Direction’s What makes you beautiful, if you want to put melody to lyrics.

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4. There have been some humorous and disturbing explorations of this topic. A particularly fun treatment is this Buzzfeed video, When a woman takes a compliment. Or Zooey Deschanel’s hilarious response as the character Jessica Day in New Girl, when she unexpectedly receives a compliment. This Twitter post, “Piss a man off today. Tell him you agree with his compliment of you,” created a firestorm as women responded with their similar experiences. UK Glamour interviewed the woman who posted it here. (p. 24)

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Learn more about the Dancing for Birth certification is here. It’s powerful training and great if you are a midwife, childbirth educator, or dance teacher looking to work with the prenatal crowd. (p. 30)

5. Check out Brené Brown’s TED talks Listening to shame and The power of vulnerability. Her latest book, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone is a short, powerful read or listen on Audible. (p. 35)  

6. Tucker, Judith Stadtman, “Motherhood, shame and society: An interview with Brené Brown, Ph.D., author of Women & Shame.” The Mothers Movement Online. (p. 35)

For further research on how shame affects our thoughts and behavior, check out this article. (p. 35)  

7. Black, M. C., Basile, K. C., Breiding, M. J., Smith, S .G., Walters, M. L., Merrick, M. T., Stevens, M. R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 summary report. (p. 37)  

8. Smith, S. G., Chen, J., Basile, K. C., Gilbert, L. K., Merrick, M. T., Patel, N., … Jain, A. (2017). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010-2012 state report. (p. 38)  

9. Rennison, C. M. (2002). Rape and sexual assault: Reporting to police and medical attention, 1992-2000 [NCJ 194530]. (p. 38)  

10. Check out the data behind the stats here: RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network).  

11. Courageous Hearts: Soul-Nourishing Stories to Inspire You to Embrace Your Fears and Follow Your Dreams. (p. 41) 

12. Lister, L. (2017). Witch: Unleashed. Untamed. Unapologetic. California: Hay House. (p. 43)  

13. The power of story and rewriting the narrative is supported by science. Check out Remapping Your Mind: The Neuroscience of Self-Transformation through Story by Lewis Mehl-Madrona, MD, PhD with Barbara Mainguy, MA (Vermont: Bear & Company, 2015). (p. 46)  

14. Beck, J. (August 2015). Life’s Stories: How you arrange the plot points of your life into a narrative can shape who you are—and is a fundamental part of being human. The Atlantic. (p. 46)

15. Estés, Clarissa Pinkola. The Joyous Body: Myths & Stories of the Wise Woman Archetype, Dangerous Old Woman Series, #3. Sounds True (2011).  

For more on how the body stores memory, see Dr. Christiane Northrup, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing, and Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. (p. 52)  

16. You can get an introduction to Dr. Lipton’s epigenetics work here. (p. 53)

17. Download a free copy of my e-book, Every Day Pleasure: A bellydancer’s perspective on how to add more time, fun and passion, daily, HERE:

18. Cuddy, Amy. Presence: Bringing your boldest self to your biggest challenges. Little, Brown & Company (2015). (p. 64)  

19. Cuddy, Amy. Your body language may shape who you are. (p. 65) 

20. For a full description and definition of Scar Clan, see Estés’ article, Scar Clan: A Lost Story, Vatican II. (p. 70)

Learn more about the dancer Amel Tafsout.  

21. Listen to Lisa Nichols’ talk on YouTube: A STORY THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE – One of The Best Speeches Ever by Lisa Nichols (emotional). I cry every time I watch it. So good. (p. 79)  

Here’s my tutorial, “Sway your walk: one step toward radical acceptance of your beautiful feminine body.” (p. 81)  

Listen to Jen’s story, and how connecting with her body impacted her business. (p. 81)  

22. For a brilliant and deep dissertation of the power of bragging, see Thomashauer, Regena, Pussy: A Reclamation, or her earlier book, The School of Womanly Arts. (p. 86)  

23. Gladwell, Malcolm. Outliers: The story of success. Little, Brown & Company (2008). (p. 92)

24. A brilliant example of the “love letter” approach to marketing is a 2013 Superbowl commercial that targeted farmers (and our love for them). The audience doesn’t even know what the ad is for until the last moments of the commercial. (p. 96)

25. Download Every Day Pleasure, in which I share 52 pleasure practices to sneak into your daily life—without adding to your to-do list. (p. 102)  

26. For more on the power of turn-on and pleasure research, read Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer. (p. 104)  

27. Read the full article, Re-friending the body: 3 daily rItuals. (p. 105)

28. Read Kim’s origin story here. (p. 111)  *Kim’s website is no longer live, unfortunately!

29. Read the full article with the Gay Gaddis quote here. (p. 114)  

30. See Fabienne Fredrickson’s video, revealing she was a real business owner and a real mom here. (p. 114)

31. The incomparable Nina Simone performing Four Women; for a powerful modern treatment of the song. (p. 119)

32. A great example of the onslaught of unabashed commentary that we face—especially the “bigger” or more famous you are and in today’s age of faceless online commenters, is the UnderArmour commercial featuring model Gisele. (p. 119)

33. Wondering how to swamp? This is one way it can look… (There is no right or wrong way, as long as you are present and honest. Oh, and check the need to look “pretty” at the door… Although, for me, there is nothing more beautiful than a woman fully present in her emotions.) This song, This Woman’s Work by Kate Bush, kept me sane through some rough moments, through the use of swamping. Don’t be afraid to cry, to make noise, to pound the floor, to stomp your feet.  

34. Northrup, Christiane, M.D. Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality and Well-Being. Hay House, Inc. (2015) Author of the iconic Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, Dr. Northrup wrote Goddesses more recently. In it, she relates how, as a longtime obstetrician and gynecologist, she had been struck that despite every one else’s cooperation with the idea that the older you are, the more difficult it is to conceive and birth a baby, she found the opposite in the Irish Catholic community she served in Boston, Massachusetts in the late 70s/early 80s. Within that community, women were told from the time that they were girls that they were extremely fertile and could get pregnant at the drop of a hat. Combine that belief with the cultural expectation to do just that—pop out babies as often and as long as humanly possible—and the mothers that Dr. Northrup supported continued to get pregnant well into their 50s with no issue. She quipped that the only way she could get the women to stop conceiving, in those instances where the mother’s health as at risk, was to tie their tubes! (p. 131)

35. Placenta = the tree of life. Check it out. (p. 35)